This Is Lagos, It Doesn’t Smile.

 

Lagos is that bully that trains you well on how shitty life can be. There are times when it will seem that underneath all that tough exoskeleton lies something soft like a heart but be ye not deceived, soft doesn’t have a place in Lagos. It is just a ploy to get you to lower your defence and slam you down harder.

If you’re new to Lagos, then welcome. Note though, this might be the only special welcome you’ll get. Here, there’s no time for all that good old politeness and courtesy. You’re either ready to kick ass(es) or ready to be a foot mat.

There will be times you will be horrified or terrified or both. Like those times you’ll see a bus driver strip butt naked with his forest and pillar of life and urine for all to see. Don’t bother about looking for the reason why, you might get a near apoplexy due to the flimsiness of it. Or like those times you’ll see a young boy dangling from a thin white rope in a shed by the roadside on your way home. Or see a poor soul receiving a destiny reset mode beating that will make your eyes twitch in horror at the crunch of each blow. These times, your feet might suffer a momentary glitch in their movement process, that is, they might freeze and get rooted. Unfreeze them and keep moving. In Lagos, you must keep your ass moving.

Okay, to come clean with you, it’s not that Lagos is all toughness and no fun. You can actually have mad fun in Lagos. Why won’t you anyway? Or where else will you spend your money at? See, the money you make in Lagos stays in Lagos. Unless you have learned perfectly how to take what’s yours without giving even a tiny hot damn what the consequences will be.

That’s one of the best features of this city; it teaches you to take what’s yours, to not be a dumb ass. Nobody here will spoon feed or pamper you. Nobody will tell you to grow some needed guts if you came with none. Nobody gives a damn about you. When you’re being kicked by the city, her children will come by to watch you wail. Then when you’re wiping your snot and tears, they’ll take what’s left of what you have.

But… yes, there’s a but. You’ll read that next week. Before then, let’s talk about this;

What unforgettable experience have you had in a major city (anywhere in the world)?

 

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